Twenties

I recently saw a quote that read, “At 22, you are just a two year old adult” and that made me look at things differently.

Of all the phases in our lives, twenties are undoubtedly the most confusing. Till we were 10 we were our parents’. Then for the next 10 years we were “school children,” a label that gave us immunity to the consequences of most of our mistakes; a bubble that protected us from society and a fortress that separated us from the real world. In short, we were carefree souls, trapped in our comfort zones, being provided and taken care of but somehow also wanting to grow up so bad.

And then with a blink of an eye, we are on our own stepping into the most decisive decade of our lives. This is the decade where we write our destiny. These 10 years quite literally define the rest of our lives. Select a job, select a life partner, make a family, move into a new house, a new city or even start our lives in a whole different country; all within 10 short years, which also happens to be our peak youth, so amidst all that we are also expected to and hormonally driven to have fun, be radical, travel, love and thrive. Somehow, we are also expected to do it all right, like we have done this before. The worst part is that we all know it, and we are constantly reminded of it, making our twenties a package that comes with constant dilemma, anxiety and self doubt. Exhausting to even think, isn’t it?

Society demands a lot from us. Society includes our parents and family and the people we don’t want to disappoint. So, we all unknowingly get on to the treadmill of twenties, and chase perfection and a “standard life.” In doing so we let go of the passions and dreams of the child and teenager we were for the past twenty years and kill the curious, unique person we were once born to be. and just like that in trying to satisfy a society, and seek validation from the word, we disappoint our own selves.

What if instead we walked at our own pace? What if we quit the rat race and simply do what our heart says? What if we try not to do it all and be perfect? What if we don’t listen to what the world wants? You are probably thinking “Oh come on we’ve heard this all before it all sounds so unrealistic” isn’t it? I used to think the same.

Is it really that bad and unrealistic though? What makes going to university and doing a job better than a start up? Is it really that bad to study medicine but become a journalist instead? Is it that bad to work at a coffee shop? To not find a partner before you are thirty? To not have a first class? To change your degree? To fail? To not do it right? To break up? To not want to work 9-5? To earn just enough for yourself? To earn money just to travel? To mess up? To not want a family? To not do it right the first time?

What made us think we shouldn’t be that? What made us try so hard to not fall in that category? Is it because we don’t want it or is it because that’s how society brainwashed us? And isn’t it because of fear? A “Standard life” in twenties is stable. Many have lived there before. And it’s the easy way out and some might genuinely want that too. But to do what you truly want, what your heart says comes with risks, it comes with criticism. And it’s a step we don’t want to take because we are too afraid. But what we forget is that, trying to suppress your true self is equally haunting. That’s why no matter how stable they say the standards are it feels like a constant effort to adhere to them, and that’s why the constant tinge of regret.

So, what if we think of the twenties as a period of discovery; not defining. Failure is a beautiful thing that guides us to our true destination. If the first love didn’t work out, well now we know what we want and not want. If we failed at our first job, time to try something different, give it time. Who says these are big things? Who let these little things define us?

One who has not been in the dark can never appreciate light. One who has not fallen down will not know the ecstasy of rising back up. And now is the time for it. Make mistakes, change, be bold, express love, make use of our beautiful, fresh young minds, make use of our youthful energy, help those who are helpless, speak up for those who are unheard, do what we love and write a future that is unique to us. For these 10 years let’s live for ourselves, decide for ourselves. Not to forget our responsibilities but let’s also remember that we don’t have to fulfill the expectations of them all. No one lives our life for us till the end.

So let us try all we want, and choose what we truly love. Give our passions a chance, spread our wings wide open, fly all we want. We will land in places we thought were beautiful only to realize we want to escape. And it’s okay because we still have our wings and the sky is wide. It’s always better to soar and die than to die in a cage wondering what it feels like to fly.